SA RELASYON MURAG (JOKE)

Ang
Uyab
Murag
Tinola

Lami
Kay
Init
Pa




Ang
Kabit
Murag
Inun-unan
Lami
Gihapon
Bisan
Paugmaan




Ang
Asawa
Murag
Tinapa

Ablihan
Lang
Kung
Apiki
Na

CAKE (JOKE)

A
Food
And
Health
Forum
Speaker
Asked:

What
Food
Causes
The
Most
Suffering
For
Years
After
Eating
It?

After
A
Long
Silence
An
Old
Man
Answered:

Wedding
Cake

Hehehe

EVERY CARE

Every
Caring
Person
Says:




If
Anything
Happens
To
You
I'll
Be
Besides
You




But
God
Will
Say:




Nothing
Will
Happen
To
You
As
Long
As
I
Am
Beside
You

ELEPHANT AND COCKROACH (JOKE)

Ang Kwento

May Ibinulong Ang
Ipis sa Elepante

Biglang Hinimatay Ang Elepante
Ano Ang Ibinulong Ng Ipis?

Ipis:
Buntis Ako,
Ikaw Ang Ama!


Sumunod Na Pagdalaw
Sa Clinic


Dahil Di
Makapaniwala Ang
Elepante, Dinala Niya
Ang Ipis Sa Doktor

Tuwang Tuwa Ang Elepante
At Masayang Ibinulong Sa Ipis
Ang Resulta Ng UltraSound

Biglang Hinimatay Ang Ipis
Ano Ang Ibinulong Ng Elepante?

Elepante:
Ako Nga Ang Ama!
At Elepante Ang Anak
Natin, At Kambal Sila

ENGLISH INCREASE WAGE (JOKE)

Boy:
hayop ka!
ginawa mo akong tao-tauhan sa
sakahan! pero sahod ko hindi
tumaas! kung mamatay ako sinong
magpapakain sa pamilya ko!
ikaw?

Amo:
inglesin mo para taasan ko
sahod mo!

Boy:
animal you!
person-person me in the farm!
my salary did not climb! if i die,
who will eat my family?
you?

WITH

With
Care
With
Concern
With
Smile
With
A Prayer


That
God
Will
Bless
And
Guide
You
Every
Step
Of
Your
Way

BEFORE YOU SLEEP

On
Angel's
Wings


I
Take
My
Flight


On
Sleepy
Dreams


I
Rest
Tonight


But
Befor
Shall
I
Close
My
Eyes


I'm
Gonna
Blow
You
A Kiss
Goodnight


mwaAhH

JUAN and PEDRO

Sa
Lasang
Nangihi
Si Juan:





Juan:
Pre, Gipaak
Ug Cobra Akong
Oten, Tabang!






Pedro:
Tawag Sa
Ko Ug Doktor
(Kuha og Celpon)
Doc, Gipaak Ug Cobra
Akong Amigo,
Unsay Buhaton Nako?





Doktor:
Supsupon Nimo
Ang Dugo Kung
Asa Gipaak Ang
Amigo Nimo.





Juan:
Unsay Ingon
Sa Doktor?





Pedro:
Mamatay
Na Daw
Ka

BOB ONG versus JUAN TAMAD

Bob Ong
Versus
Juan Tamad
View About
Love:






Bob Ong:

Ang Pag-ibig
Ay Parang Elevator
Kung Puno Na Ito
Bakit Mo Pa
Ipagsiksikan
Ang Sarili Mo?
Gayong Meron Namang
Hagdanan. Di Mo Lang
Pinapansin.





Juan Tamad:

Bakit Mo Pa
Kinakailangang Maghadan?
Gayong Babalikan Ka
Naman Ng Elevator.
Kailangan Mo Lang
Maghintay.

LAHAT MAGBABAGO

Kung
Lahat
Magbabago
At
Lahat
Lilipas

Di Ko
Sisirain
Ang
Pinagsamahan
Natin

Pero
Kung
Sakaling
Makalimutan
Mo Ako

Wala
Akong
Magagawa

Basta
Ako

Itatago
Kita
Dito
Sa
Puso
Ko

WOULD SAY

Most
Of Us
Would
Say:






Find
Out
What
Makes
Us
Happy
And
Pursue
It






But
Wouldn't
It Be
Nice
If It
Would
Be






Find
Out What
Makes
Your Life
Miserable
And
Stop
Doing IT

I TEXT BECAUSE

I
Text
You
Not
Because
I'm
Bored

I
Text
You
Not
Because
I
Have
A Load

I
Text
You
Not
Because
I
Want
A Reply
From
You

I
Text
You
Because
This
Is My
Simplest
Way
Of Saying

I
Remember
You

TARZAN

Usa
Ka
Adlaw
Didto
Sa Lasang









Stranghero:
Tarzan, Gi Unsa
Di Ay Nimu Buhat
Imu Balay Babaw
Anang Kahoy?









Tarzan:
Ambot Lang
Kay Nag-Board
Ra Man Ko Diri

RED HORSE

If
Drinking
Red Horse
Is
A Sport













I'm
Sure













Varsity
Na
Ta













Team
Captain
Ko













Pag-Amping
Diha
Coach

THE WAY FOR

If
Climbing
To The
Highest
Mountain
On Earth

Is
The Only
Way For
That Person
To Be
Mine













Then













I'd
Rather
Play
DOTA

PANGADYI (BiRO)

Pangadyi-on
Sa Dili Pa
Matulog:

Anghel
Nga
Magbalantay
Santos
Kong
Sangay
Bantayi
Akong
Lagay
Nga
Mugahi
Kanunay
Aron
Makalahutay
Sa
Oras
Sa
Iniyutay

Emen.

Nurse ug Pasyente (Joke 1)

Nurse:
Pila Imo Anak Nang?

Pasyente:
Kinse Kabuok.

Nurse:
Sus! Ginoo, Kadaghan
Ba Ana.
Wala Ka Mugamit
ug Pills, Condom o IUD?

Pasyente:
Krus My Hart, Otin ra jud.

Kung Para Sa Iyo

Kung
Talagang
Para
Sa Iyo
Ang
Isang
Tao

Mawala
Man
Siya
Sa Iyo
Ng
Mahabang
Panahon

Magkikita
Pa Rin
Kayo

Kapag
Tama
Na
Ang Mali

At Puwede
Na
Ang Hindi

PAGNAKAHANAP

Pagnakahanap
Ka Ng
Bagong
Baby

At
Iwan
Mo Ako

Ok
Lang

Kahit
Masakit

Love
Pa Rin
Kita

At
Kung
Doon
Ka
Masaya

Pero
Pagnakita
Kitang
Malungkot
At
Umiiyak

Tap!
Kita
Sa
Balikat

Pagkatapos
Sasabihing

Halika
Nga Dito
Babawiin Na
Kita

PAGPAPAHALAGA

Habang
Nararamdaman
Ko

Na Mahalaga
Pa Ako
Sa Buhay Mo

Pahahalagahan
Din Kita
Ng Higit Pa
Sa Buhay Ko

Pero
Pag Nararamdaman
Ko Na
Wala Na Akong
Halaga Sa'yo

Mawawala Ako
Pero Mananatili
Ka Pa Rin
Sa Puso Ko

MORNING PRAYER REQUEST

The
First
Sunglight
To Kiss
Your Face

Is My Prayer
To God
Requesting Him
To Take Care
Of You
And
Let You Know
How Special
You Are
In His
Eyes
And
Mine

PRAYER FOR YOU

Prayer
Is My
Gift
For You
Everyday
That You'll
Be Fine

Protected
And
Have The
Strength
To Cope
With All
The Pressures
And
Stress
In Life

THANK YOU

Thank You
For Stepping
Into My
Life
And
Being Nice
And
Good To Me

Hoping What
We Started
Will Not
Changed

As Time
Goes By
Hope
There Be
No
Goodbyes

TIME TO GOODBYE

Time
Will
Come
You'll
Gonna Say
Goodbye

You'll
Say
Thanks
To All

It
Will
Really
Hurt Me

But
I'll
Accept
It

And
Smile
To Hide
The Pain

But
Please

Kung
Kaya Pa
Wa'y
Limtanay
Huh

BIGGEST HOPE

My
Biggest Hope
Is To See
Your Smile
And
To Know
That Your
Happy

I Know
Life Is
Sometimes Cruel
But That's
Why I'm
Here For You
To Show
That Life
Can Be
Good
When
Somebody Cares

GOOD BYES

Sometimes
We Say
Goodbye
To The
Person We
Love

Though We
Don't Mean
It

But
It Doesn't
Mean We
Have To
Stop Caring

Because
Sometimes
Goodbye

Is The
Painful Way
To Say
I Love You

SAAN AT SAGOT

Saan
Ako
Diyan
Para
Sa'yo?

I _____ You!



A. Miss
B. Love
C. Like
D. Care
E. Hate
F. Need


I
Need
Your
Answer

PAANO BA?

Paano Ba
Mag-mahal
Ng Hindi Ka
Nasasaktan?

Paano Ba
Mag-mahal
Ng Hindi Ka
Umiiyak?

Paano Kung
Pagod Ka Na
Pero Mahal
Mo Pa Rin Siya?

Susuko Ka
Ba
o
Magpapatuloy Ka
Kahit Alam
Mong Nasasaktan
Ka Na?

INGATAN

Ingatan
Mo
Ang Taong
Laging
Nandiyan
Para Sa'yo

Laging Nag-iisip
Laging Nag-mamahal
Laging Nag-alaala

Kasi Pag Yan
Ay Nawala
Mag-sisi Ka
Kaya Ikaw
Ingatan Mo
Kung Sino
Man Siya

Why Humble?

A Child
Asked
His Father:

Why Do
I Need
To Be
Humble?




His
Father Said:

When You
Choose The
Lowest Path
There's No
Place To Fall
And
The Only
Way Is
Up

Tapos Na Valentine

Tapos
Na
Ang
Araw
Ng
Mga
Puso






Wala
Lang





Sana
May Araw
Din
Ang
Mga
Atay,
Apdo,
Tinae
Baga
at
Iba
Pa


Para
Patas

Kung Mag-bago

Kung
Lahat
Mag-babago
At
Lahat
Lilipas

Di Ko
Sisirain
Ang
Pinagsamahan
Natin

Pero Kung
Sakaling
Makalimutan
Mo Ako

Wala
Akong
Magagawa Pa

Basta Ako
Itatago Kita
Sa
Puso Ko

ABOT

Di Man Kita
Maabot
Ng Tingin
Pero
Narito Ka
Sa Isip Ko



Di Man Kita
Abot Kamay
Pero
Nandito Ka
Sa Puso Ko



Wala
Ka Man
Sa
Tabi Ko
Ngunit
Mananatili
Kang
Bahagi
Ng
Puso
Ko

MOUNTAIN

Trusting
God
Won't
Make
The
Mountain
Smaller
But
Will
Make
The
Climbing
Easier
Hope
You'll
Be
Able
To
Climb
Your
Mountain
Because
He
Put
It
There
To
Make
You
Stronger

JUDGE ME

I
Love
It
When
People
Judge
Me
Negatively







Especially
The
Part










Where
They
Find
Out











They Were
Wrong

NEVER EXPECT

When
You
Love


Make Sure
You Know
Were
You
Stand
In
That
Person's Life.



Never
Assume
Never
Expect
So That
Whey
They
Choose
To
Drop
You






You'd
Have
Enough
Strength
To
Move On

UNLIMITED BULLETS

Don't
Love
Someone
Who's
Already
In
Love
With
Another
One
Cause
If
You
Do
It's
Like
Buying
A
Gun
To
Shoot
Yourself
Loaded
With
Unlimited
Bullets

NASUBUKAN

Nasubukan
Ko
Na
Lahat




Nasubukan
Ko
Na Ding
Magmahal





Masaktan







At
Magpa-ubaya








Pero
Ang
Di
Ko
Pa
Nasubukan








Ang
Tinidorin
Ang
Sabaw

SMILE

Your
Smile
Is
One
of
The
Most
Important
Part
of
Your
Personality
It
Is
A
Mirror
That
Reflects
The
Good
Things
Inside
of
You
So
Keep
Smiling

Basta MahaL Kahit Anong Layo

Pag
Mahal
Mo
Isang
Tao




Kahit
Malayo
Pa Siya





Dapat
Kayanin Mo
Kahit
Di Kayo
Madalas
Mag-Usap
o
Mag-Text
Carry Mo
Dahil Ang
Pag-ibig
Hindi Sa
Lapit
o
Layo
Kundi
Nasa
Puso
at
Tiwala

Disturbed

If
I
Disturbed
You







SORRY









I
Just
Want
You
To
Know
That I
Always
Find
Time
To
Remember
You








Kahit
Di Ka
Mag-Reply
Basta
Ang Importante
Alam Mong
Naalala
Kita

Y-O-U

Someone
Ask
Me
To
Describe
Y-O-U
In Two
Words.


They
Expected
Me
To
Answer
The
Word





"The Best"










But I Didn't











I
Just
Simply
Smiled
and
Said







Nothing
Compares

Pag PiLi

Pinili Kita
Dahil Mahal Kita


Ginusto Ko
Dahil Mas Mahalaga Ka


Kaya Sana
Ingatan
Mo


Dahil Mismo
Puso Ko
Ang Pumili
Sa Iyo
Para Mahalin Ka

KULIT

Ang
Taong Nangungulit Sa'yo
Mahal Na Mahal
Ka


Kaya Eto
Kinukulit Kita
at
Kapag Sinabi Mong
Baka Maubos Load Ko



Sorry
Unlimited To
Gaya Ng
Pagmamahal Ko
Sa Iyo

Word Regret

I Don't
Really
Believe In The
Word:




REGRET




I Just
Do Stand
With The
Phrase:





I Messed Up
But I Learned

Even If We

Even If We
Miss Some Talks






Some
Hello's


Some
Text


and
Some
Greetings


Always Remember
That My Prayers
and
Cares Will
Never Be Less

Compute (For Fun)

Try To Compute
This It's Fun

Birth Month
x 4 + 13
x 25 - 200
+ Day You Were Born
x 2 - 40
x 50 + Last 2 Digits
of Year Born
- 10, 500

Equals = Your Answer

Never Be

I Will Never Be
Good Enough For
Everybody






But This Is For Sure









I Am The Best For
Someone Who
Really Appreciates
Me

Miss from A Distance

It's Hard When You
Miss Someone So Much
Yet You Can't Do
Anything About It,
Because Having That
Space Between The Two
of
Us Is The Only Way
To Make The Both
of
You A Better Person

Di Maka Text

Alam Mo Kahti Hindi
Ka Na Maka Text Ng






1 2 3 Days






4 5 Weeks






6 7 Months






8 9 10 Years






Kahit Makulit Ako
Mahal Pa Rin Kita